Let me give it to you straight: the best networkers I know are not constantly networking.
They are not collecting business cards.
They are not calculating what every conversation might be worth.
They are not walking into a room wondering, “Who here can help me grow?”
They are looking for ways to help someone else grow.
That difference matters.
Because real relationships are not built through transactions. They are built through trust, curiosity, consistency, and service.
And when you consistently serve people well, opportunities tend to follow.
Networking Has Never Been My Favorite Strategy
Over the years, I have been invited to join quite a few networking groups.
Some were excellent organizations. Some had wonderful people. I have seen several business owners build thriving companies through groups like these.
But I never joined one.
Not because I think networking groups are bad. They simply never made sense for me.
The requirements often outweighed the benefits:
- Weekly meetings
- Attendance expectations
- Membership commitments
- Referral quotas
- Preparation and follow-up
- Time spent meeting people I could often reach directly
For me, the return on investment was never compelling enough.
I would rather spend those membership dollars buying someone coffee than buying another membership.
If I want to meet a CPA, I can call a CPA.
If I want to build a relationship with an attorney, I can invite one to lunch.
If I want to connect with a business owner, pastor, nonprofit leader, or entrepreneur, I do not necessarily need a weekly meeting to make that happen.
The meeting is not the relationship.
The relationship is the relationship.
The Relationships That Changed My Life Were Built Through Intentionality
The relationships that have made the biggest difference in my life were not built because we sat around the same table every Thursday morning.
They were built because someone reached out.
Someone bought coffee.
Someone followed up.
Someone asked thoughtful questions.
Someone remembered a detail about my family.
Someone made an introduction without expecting anything in return.
Someone saw a need and looked for a way to help.
That is where trust came from.
And after trust was built, opportunities followed.
Not always immediately. Not always in a way anyone could predict. But the foundation was there.
That is how meaningful relationships work. You invest first, and you allow the relationship to grow naturally.
Think of it like planting a tree.
You do not water a seed today and demand shade tomorrow. You keep showing up. You provide what is needed. You give it time.
Eventually, the tree becomes something that serves many people.
The opportunity is real. The impact is real.
What Are You Really Looking For?
Here is a question worth asking yourself:
When you meet someone new, are you trying to understand them, or are you trying to use the connection?
That question may feel uncomfortable. It should.
There is nothing wrong with building a business or looking for opportunities. We all need clients, partners, referrals, and trusted relationships.
But the order matters.
A healthy relationship-building mindset sounds like this:
- What is this person working toward?
- What challenge are they trying to solve?
- Who would be helpful for them to meet?
- What resource could make their week easier?
- What can I learn from their experience?
- How can I contribute before I ask for anything?
A transactional mindset sounds different:
- Can they buy from me?
- Can they refer me?
- How quickly can I turn this into an opportunity?
- What can I get from this relationship?
People can sense the difference.
You do not have to be perfect. You do have to be sincere.
People want to feel known before they feel sold.
The Exception I Have Found
There is one exception to my usual view of networking groups.
Not because it is a networking group.
Because it is not really a networking group at all.
One of our clients, Jamal Jones, started something called the Purpose Driven Entrepreneur Table. It is an invite-only community of business owners and leaders who genuinely want to:
- Become better leaders
- Build healthier businesses
- Grow with greater intention
- Make a greater impact through their work
- Encourage and challenge one another
Nobody shows up asking, “Who has a referral for me?”
They show up asking, “How can I grow or contribute today?”
That changes everything.
When enough purpose-driven people gather in the same room, referrals happen anyway.
But they do not happen because anyone is required to produce them.
They happen because trust has been earned.
They happen because people have watched one another lead, serve, follow through, and care.
They happen because someone says, “I know exactly who you should meet.”
That is the kind of network I want to be part of.
Not one built around obligation.
One built around shared purpose.
The Super Connector Is a Servant
A super connector is not merely someone who knows a lot of people.
A super connector is someone who sees the value in connecting the right people at the right time.
They listen for needs.
They remember conversations.
They notice opportunities to help.
They make introductions carefully because their credibility is attached to every connection.
Most importantly, they do not treat people like resources.
They treat people like people.
That is why a super connector often becomes trusted by so many different communities. They are not constantly asking, “What can you do for me?”
They are asking:
- Who can I encourage?
- Who needs a helpful introduction?
- Who is carrying a problem alone?
- Who would benefit from being seen and heard?
- Who deserves an opportunity?
You can read more about this mindset in The Superpower of a Super Connector and Super Connector Secrets: How to Grow Your Network Without the Outreach Fatigue.
The goal is not to become popular.
The goal is to become useful.
Five Ways to Serve Your Network This Month
You do not need a complicated strategy to start serving people more intentionally.
You need one person and one thoughtful action.
Here are a few places to begin:
1. Buy someone coffee
Think of someone you have been meaning to reconnect with.
Send a simple message:
“I have been thinking about you and would love to hear how things are going. Can I buy you coffee sometime this month?”
Do not turn the conversation into a sales pitch.
Ask about their work, their family, their goals, and what has been challenging lately.
Then listen.
2. Make a thoughtful introduction
Who do you know that should know each other?
Before introducing them, ask both people for permission. Then make the connection clear and personal.
You might say:
“Hey, Jordan: meet Taylor. Taylor is looking for help with strategic planning, and I told them about the work you have done in that area. I trust you two to connect from here. Let me know if I can help.”
A good introduction is not a forwarded contact card.
It is context, trust, and care.
3. Share a resource
Did you read an article that addresses someone’s current challenge?
Hear about a podcast, book, event, or tool that might help?
Send it along with a personal note:
“I remembered you mentioning this challenge, so I thought this resource might be useful.”
No pitch required.
4. Follow up on something they shared
People tell us important things in passing.
A new project.
A difficult season.
A family milestone.
A leadership decision.
Write it down. Set a reminder. Follow up later.
A message as simple as “How did that conversation go?” can communicate genuine care.
5. Celebrate someone publicly
Give credit.
Recommend someone’s work.
Share their announcement.
Congratulate them on a milestone.
Encouragement costs you little, but it can mean a great deal to the person receiving it.
✅ This month, choose one person and do one of these things without expecting a return.
That is how you begin.
“But I Don’t Have Time”
I know what you may be thinking:
“This sounds good, but my calendar is already full.”
I understand.
Busy leaders are often not short on relationships. They are short on capacity to maintain them.
You may have every intention of following up, making introductions, and checking in with people: but then your inbox fills up, meetings move around, and the day disappears into administrative work.
That is where support matters.
A Remote Executive Assistant can help you manage the relationship-building work that often gets lost in the shuffle:
- Organizing your contacts
- Recording important conversation details
- Scheduling coffee meetings and lunches
- Drafting thoughtful follow-up messages
- Setting reminders for future check-ins
- Coordinating introductions
- Managing your calendar around high-value relationships
- Keeping track of birthdays, milestones, and personal details
- Maintaining your CRM or relationship database
This is not about making relationships robotic.
It is about removing the administrative friction that keeps you from being intentional.
You still bring the care. You still ask the questions. You still show up as yourself.
Your Remote Executive Assistant helps make sure the right people do not quietly fall through the cracks.
Learn more about how our Remote Executive Assistants support busy leaders or connect with Dream Support to explore what that could look like for you.
Who Could You Intentionally Serve?
So here is my question for you:
Who is one person you could intentionally serve this month?
Not someone you need something from.
Not someone who can automatically send you business.
Someone you genuinely want to encourage, help, or get to know better.
You could:
- Buy them coffee
- Invite them to lunch
- Ask about their family
- Learn their story
- Make an introduction
- Share a useful resource
- Celebrate their work
- Offer encouragement
- Follow up on something important to them
Start with one person.
Then do it again next month.
You might discover that the best networking strategy is not joining another group.
It may not even be “networking” at all.
It looks a whole lot more like serving others.
The best networkers do not collect people. They care for relationships.
And when you serve consistently, listen carefully, and connect people generously, you become the kind of person others trust to open doors.
That is how networks grow.
That is how businesses grow.
That is how missions grow.
The opportunity is real. The impact is real.